So I’ve been on a lot of dates in my life… so many dates that I like to think of myself as a veteran.. even though I still don’t really know what women are thinking across that 30 inch slab of suspended wood we call a table, but recently I realised that there’s something incredibly simple I do that might make things easier for you guys or girls striking out in the desert of insurmountable doubt and confusion. I’ll stop rambling and get into it.
Have you ever read “The Game” by Neil Strauss? No? Well it’s an amazing book that might entertain, annoy or stir a whole lot of feelings within you. Some may be excitement, some may be doubt and some may be a growing dissatisfaction with the male gender. Whatever it may be I recommend you read this book! But I digress, I bring up this book because it discusses a concept they geekingly call “Kino Escalation” which I remember simply as the act of creating and escalating physical contact with the opposite sex and attempt to “seduce” them without freaking them out enough to call the authorities.
There are many ways to achieve a date icebreaker but I may have stumbled on a fun, light hearted, easy way to make a physical connection with your date without causing any alarm… maybe.. use at your own discretion!
The Date Icebreaker
Let’s assume you arrive on a date and you’re making polite conversation while looking at a drinks menu. Maybe they’re indecisive like a lot of us are and they aren’t sure what to have, suggest a game.
Politely ask for their hand then request that they close their eyes, mold their hand to form a finger pointing towards the drinks menu and begin to move it in a slow and random circular motion above the menu. Let them know that you need them to let you know when to stop, when the confusingly and hopefully gleefully instruct you to stop, gently, don’t thrust their hand downwards like a troll!!
Carefully move their hand downwards till her finger hits the menu and ask them to open their eyes. After their dismay or excitement at selecting a drink probably called “Slaughter Sauce” ask them to do the same to you.
Walla you have successfully performed very light flirting and initiated physical contact with your date right at the start.
Now you might be thinking. So what? and why is this important.
- Well first off you’ve created a fun casual atmosphere where initial physical contact wasn’t creepy and unnatural. Well hopefully you’ll do it naturally enough that it wont feel forced as hell.
- Second, you’ve performed a light hearted silly game to introduce a little fun and take some of the pressure off meeting you for the first time.
- Third, the event helps you gauge the kind of person sitting across from you based on how the game went, were they stand offish? Were they shy? Or were they really up for giving you their hand and so on.
- And fourth, if they picked a drink called “Slaughter Sauce”, it doesn’t matter if they go for it or not, but you can talk about how great or terrible it is or could have been.
The Fallbacks and Negatives
Obviously this isn’t a full proof tactic and it is possible to perform it so terribly that it becomes someones “Horrible Date” post on Reddit.
Its quite situational and therefore useless if your date already knows what they’d like to drink or if the menu has very little choice.
In addition if the other person is super shy or introvert, the idea of handing a stranger their hand while their eyes are closed might prove too risky a play.
Lastly this could be a fiasco if you take their hand rather than politely asking for it, or awkwardly and creepily mess around with their hand after you’ve taken it.
It’s a move that has to be quite natural, if it doesn’t fit in well with the situation don’t force it in… that’s what she said.
This date icebreaker could also be seen as an under handed way to fool the other person into being interested in you, “Gaming” them to believe that you’re actually a fun person with a spontaneous idea rather than just repeating something you read on the internet.
I see it as something that I feel may help those who struggle with dating all together, individuals that find themselves lost and unaware of how to move forward, to express they’re awkwardly caged interest.
You could say that it doesn’t matter because if they’re into you it doesn’t matter if you make physical contact on a first date or not. I agree… but sometimes all it takes to create that “Spark” is placing one hand into another in a dark corner of a bar at 7pm on a friday evening.