This is a bit of a touchy subject certain to cause outcry with modern dating men and women alike. You’ve text, you’ve met up, you’ve hung out and it’s time to leave, but who pays?
If you guessed the guy should pay, you’d be wrong, the girl? Nope. Don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting you both make a run for the exit and see who makes it to the door first, though what a date story that would be. I don’t think there’s a right answer but there are varied views that I’ll bring to your attention.
The guy should pay for the date
This is my least favourite obviously. It almost sounds like a commandment quoted from a 20th century Moses holding 2 iPads “thou shout pay for thine Pornstar Martinis”. Perhaps there was a time when this was to be expected, in fact with some people IT IS expected and sometimes abused. Though surprisingly some women will be offended if you insist on paying. On the other hand if the guy takes the lady to a place where the cost of two courses is a month’s rent, he should probably cover it. *cough*overcompensating*cough*
The girl should pay for the date
I have never heard such words uttered by an individual, but I have been in the presence of such a coincidence I find almost as rare as a unicorn. Don’t get me wrong though,
power to the woman that wants to pay for a date she enjoyed! I’d High five her.
Women in our generation our powerful, confident and successful so it should be normal if one decides she wants to treat her first date to some drinks. “Wants” not “Should”.
They should go Dutch on the date
This means to split the bill to those unaware. This is much more common among first dates as it is the most fair of the options, but here’s an interesting fact. In some cases when the lady isn’t interested, she would rather split the bill perhaps to avoid giving off the wrong idea. If the guys suggests to split the bill, it’s fine but can sometimes be seen as unattractive if the lady is interested. I like to think it’s because at our core a lady likes to be woo’d by her potential mate and a guy likes to woo his potential mate.
My take – The guy should always offer but not insist
My take on the idea is that the guy should always offer to pay and then go with what the lady decides don’t be pushy though as she may take it as a sign of disrespect. Yes this means that in some cases you’ll pay but if you like the girl should it matter, and if you asked them out then fine, you should be prepared to cover the cost. This will almost always make you come out as a gentleman and you will never be penalised for it. This may offend but we live in a time where feminism is a powerful movement, a movement that is sometimes at a point where even tapping a shoulder in the wrong way could be seen as patronising and sexist (this happened to me once). I believe that women are just as good if not better than men in several areas, but I believe that it is natural for a man to want to treat a woman to a drink or a meal if he’s attracted to her, without expectations or depts, it’s just another way to express his interest. Though saying that, there are occasions where a man will ask for a “refund” if it turns out the girl isn’t interested. In my eyes this is like buying a lottery ticket and then asking for the money back when you didn’t win big. It is beyond stupid,
if you are not prepared to cough up the cash to a date of your design, then don’t take your date to a place where they serve gold leaf and caviar on a pizza.
To close, there is no perfect answer as we’re all different, ultimately it depends on your upbringing and experience, the right person will adore the fact you want to pay and will respect you if you want to go dutch, heck they might even think it’s cute that you want them to cover the date… might.