Rant of the Week – Experimenting with dating apps again
It’s been a slow couple of months on the digital dating game. So slow in fact, that I’m starting to consider what my other options are in getting dates all together. Perhaps London has grown tired of Tinder after one too many disappointments and we’re on to the next new hip dating app, whatever that is. It’s always taken me a little time to match with the ladies on Tinder, I’m talking maybe 1 or 2 in a week of furious swiping, which recently seems to turn into cancellations with no reschedules or conversations that die out when you get to the meaty “Let’s get a drink?” main course. So I decided to try out different methods and stretch the rubber dome that is my comfort zone.
So I go for a drink with a friend and she drunkenly changes the order of my Tinder pictures quoting “YEAH this is what girls want to see”. In hindsight 4 pints of beer definitely steered this conversation from doomed politics to how to be a douche on Tinder.
Said image is a pretty shameful one I added as an experiment, big emphasis on shame here, it was nicely slotted in as the 3rd image in my profile in order to maintain an iota of face when I talk to matches. It’s basically me at the gym and what’s worse I’m the one taking it! Luckily it’s not so much a selfie and I’m not doing a Suns Out Guns Out pose but it’s still a douchey gym photo.
I’m practically rolling my eyes in disappointment at the idea of it, it really isn’t the kind of thing I’d normally do, its all in the name of science, promise.
Although to my surprise, my match rate shot through the roof, from 1 or 2 matches a week to a shocking 8 matches and I still have three days to go. You may be thinking “Why is this so surprising?”, well it’s because I always figured women needed more than a shoddy photo of muscles and I’d forever be seen as some sort of meat head. But here’s a thought, maybe I do come off as a self centered meat head but they swipe me anyway, this concept is illustrated effectively in this post by TheChive, it’s shockingly, shamefully amusing.
It’s kinda like when a guy sees a Tinder profile of a woman in a bikini and a seductive pose with profile text akin to “Men only want me for my body”. Well ya it’s kinda fresh in our minds when you’re flaunting it like that. It’s kinda like telling someone not to think about elephants while dressed up as an elephant. Here’s how it normally plays out “EURGH not another one of these ….hot tho” *swipes right*. I think the majority of us do this with the hope that this attractive shell has a personality that matches our own, we can only hope. My match rate has gone up due to the image swap but it’s not like I’ve scored a date yet.
Making an Effort
Dating apps update all the time and most of the time there’s nothing noticeable about the updates, but sometimes there are small noticeable ones that change the way we play. The Super Like feature being one and the Swiping Feature inspired by Tinder is now being integrated into old and new apps. OKCupid recently had an update that allowed you to comment on specific images when you message potentials. It basically adds your message with a screenshot of the image referenced. It’s not a big deal, but coupled with a witty message referencing the photo it seems to have a positive effect.
I pretty much swipe as normal but look for an interesting picture to comment on, reference it in a quick witty message and move on. Obviously this requires more effort than just swiping and hoping for the best but it seemed to work way better for me on OKCupid. Only downside is that responses didn’t turn into dates, either my messages were so good that they got initial interest but conversation wasn’t interesting enough to carry me through to the finish line,
some actually disappeared when I asked to meet!! Maybe their “No Thanks” keys were broken.
To conclude it seems there’s still a ton of methods to try out, I’d like to give Inner Circle a go to see if pay only apps remove a whole lot of clutter, I mean who pays £20 a month to pretend to be Jessica Alba on a dating app.