Rant of the week – Should you kiss on the first date?
I think we all have different opinions on a first date kiss. I’ve heard some opinions from women and I have to admit men don’t really discuss first date kissing, so for now I’ll share my singular opinion and maybe I’ll ask another dude before I get to the summary, oh the suspense.
I could probably end this with a simple “depends” but that would be cheating so i’m going to break it down as best I can without explaining what frenching means.
No kiss happens
Let’s be generic and ask, should they kiss at all and why wouldn’t they kiss at all, say both individuals have had a good time and both would accept a kiss if the other initiated but neither take the leap for fear of the spiky hammy of rejection. Or perhaps regardless of a good time, neither of you feel “the spark” (god I hate the spark) and the thought of kissing doesn’t enter either of your minds.
Now what could happen when they don’t kiss and neither try. Perhaps the lady feels a further sense of mystery assuming she likes him at all, and a little respect for him as she feels he’s a gentleman whose not in it to “nail & bail”. From my experience some women are happy to wait till after the first date. Though let’s say there’s attraction and you’re tactile and flirty with each other but no kiss attempt happens, depending on her past experiences it could be seen as confusing but she’ll probably give you another go if she really likes you.
So what could the guy be thinking when no kiss occurs. I’m a guy and I can tell you, most of us are a very simple lot. In most cases all we can think about is the kiss, and much more but we may not try out of fear of coming off as a creep, this is of course assuming we are interested in the first place. To be fair most guys are probably considering a kiss even if they aren’t interested.
I can’t speak for every guy but I used to have this idea in my head that first dates were like window shopping,
to clarify that they are in fact who they say they are and to see what the “LOL”s on WhatsApp look like in person, look but don’t touch. My thoughts afterwards are usually “maybe I should have kissed her” or “next time I’ll kiss her” if I’m interested. If I’m not, I pull out my phone and play some Hearthstone.
The guy goes in for the kiss
I wouldn’t say it’s the more common occurrence as I’ve been witness to the opposite, but I have heard that some women will hint for a first kiss rather than initiate it. So what happens when the guy launches towards the starting line.
Assuming she’s into it she may kiss back, I’m refraining from saying “will” only because some ladies prefer to wait for date two before allowing this kind of PDA. Perhaps because they don’t want to give the idea that the kiss might mean more than just that, or they aren’t completely sure and would like to avoid giving the wrong idea. Though in most cases I think if she’s into your swagger you’re in the clear. On the other hand If she isn’t that into you, she might allow a little kiss because she doesn’t want to awkwardly reject your advances, although I believe most if not all women will outright shove you out of their face if they find you as repulsive as a Star Trek villain, cept Benedict Cumberbatch, girls dig the Batch.
He’s into you, or he’s bored, or he’s horny. It’s quite difficult to narrow it down to the specifics other than he wants to kiss you. I suppose that could be why girls don’t give it away like month old haribo. In the worst case he might be thinking, he’s come all this way, he’s paid for drinks (again probably why they prefer we don’t pay for drinks) and the date isn’t going that great but he could do with resetting his sex clock so he tries his luck by going in for a kiss… I did say worst. Best case he’s really into the girl and would feel like an idiot if he didn’t at least try to steal a kiss, with her consent of course, though I guess that isn’t stealing.
The girl goes in for the kiss
I’ve noticed and heard that if a girl is into you or at least wants to double check that she is, she’ll go for it all on her own. Generally at the end of the date more so that in between, though she’ll probably hint at it for some of the date.
The girl initiating the kiss is actually quite common under the right circumstances.
She digs you in some way shape or form. It could be fleeting, maybe something you said or did or the way she’s feeling about you or herself at that point in time. In most cases she’ll want to see you again, or in some others she’ll want to keep kissing you somewhere more private, and in others she’s just curious but it does mean you’re not a Star Trek villain. I find it hard to differentiate between the options.
Probably relieved he doesn’t have to make the first move. Assuming he wants to most guys will accept your initiation like a accepting a business card, I assume it’s rude to reject a business card. I also think his first thoughts about the situation would be “I’m in there” while subconsciously Hi Fiving his best friend, he could be wrong of course as I think landing a kiss is one of many hurdles, but I doubt guys think about the future when they’re making out. I’ve never really rejected a kiss before, but I’m sure many guys out there do, my form of rejection is more about turning it into a cheek kiss.
GO FOR IT!! I suppose that probably isn’t the best general advice. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell if you should go for it or not, but let’s assume you’re a nice guy or girl, not a creep, respectful, confident yada yada.
A kiss may be just the thing you need to turn a friendly meet up into a date with “spark”.
Besides the worst that’ll happen is they’ll decline for whatever reason and then you know where you stand.
What do you think, should you kiss, should you wait, should you write it all off and become a nun/hermit. Leave a comment