Wannabe Tales – The guilt trip

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The Guilt Trip
It’s 3am in the morning and I’m walking home from the station. It’s about a twenty minute walk home, fifteen if I power walk and even less if I’m stupidly and obliviously immersed in my own world which consists of headphones,

some Childish Gambino and something that can only be described as dance walking?!? As each of my steps begin to represent a beat on the track, my awareness of the world around me starts to fade, so much so that the sudden tug of my elbow drop kicks my consciousness back into reality. Instinctively I hop back like one of those cat vs cucumber videos and find standing in front me is this tall black guy.

I’m an into girls kinda guy

The Guilt Trip
Dude: whoa whoa I’m not going to hurt you.

He says like I was going to let him!?! I let down my guard and pull my somewhat overused headphones off my head.

Dude: Are you okay? You were walking funny.

No doubt he noticed my dance walk and thought I was trying to kill myself

Me: Oh? Nah I’m fine I was just vibing with my music.

Do people still say “vibe” my mind wonders

Dude: Ah okay… so… are you into guys or girls?

My eyes widen like a deer in headlights and I take two steps back, leaning away like he just offered me a piece of his half eaten tuna melt.

Me: I’m… I’m an into girls kind of guy.

Dude: oh okay no problem.

He turns round to walk away and suddenly a wave of guilt washes over me. This guy just went out his way to hit on me and my reaction was to treat him like he tried to shove Mormon literature down my throat.

Me: I’m flattered though!!

I yell like I’m trying to shake off the guilt clinging on to me like an unfamiliar smell.

The other side is weird

The Guilt Trip
While completing the remainder of my trip I couldn’t help but break it down. Is this what women feel like when they get hit on by a guy they’re not remotely interested in, maybe just the awkwardness without the guilt, or is there a twinge of guilt? As someone who encourages strangers asking out strangers without middle man Tinder, I was a little disappointed in my reaction. Got a bit of an ego boost though.

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